I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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