There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize