The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's never too late to be topless.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize