Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I didn't notice because vodka
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
