Can Purell be used as lube?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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