i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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