I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
