btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
