Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
