we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
