franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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