Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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