Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
