Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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