Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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