Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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