The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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