just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I smell stomach acid.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
