the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
