Sponge bath it is.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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