so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
