I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
