First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
