Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Randomize
