I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
