dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
