After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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