what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
