I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
