if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Couch. On fire.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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