I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
