he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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