I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
