I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She's not a foreskin expert like you
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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