Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i think i have herpe
just one?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize