Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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