I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
