ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
