Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
