I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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