thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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