I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
