like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
