You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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