I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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