What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
