true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
