O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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