i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just saw a hot homeless man
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
