She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
