Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I can't turn off my feet"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
