I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
