If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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