I want to walk on stilts...naked
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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