I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
