help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I intend to get homeless drunk
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
