My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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