I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
