first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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