This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
